Episode 10&11: non-verbal etiquette (eye contact) in Korea

By: Won Young Lee

SYNOPSIS

To everyone's surprise, Kim Ga-yeong partially awakes from her coma and attempted murder—she is secretly transferred to another hospital for her safety. Spoiler: the perpetrator is Chief Kim.

Hwang Si-mok holds a press conference to share the following breaking news: Yeong Il-Jae (Yeong Eun-su's father) is innocent; Ga-yeong (second victim) met Chief Kim U-gyun through Park Mu-seong; and arrest warrants are awaiting several prosecutors at the Seoul Western Office.

Former Chief Prosecutor Lee has been appointed as Chief Secretary to the President out of the blue—Chief Lee shares a glass of champagne with Si-mok at a congratulatory gathering.

Chief Kim is arrested for reasons including abducting a Ga-yeong decoy, and is promptly sent to the police station—there he calls Chief Secretary Lee to save him, but is immediately ordered to stay quiet or else.

Eun-su is livid that her father's retrial was denied and storms into Chief Secretary Lee's office to denounce (his?) wrongdoing—she promptly collapses with grief, bewildered by the corruption at hand.

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DISCUSSION

The duty to show respect, especially for elders and individuals of higher authority, is an obligation that nearly all societies obey. Korean customs regarding respect are some of the strictest in the world; failure to follow etiquette will result in immediate scolding. Depth of bows, handshakes, beverage pouring, etc. are all important. In this discussion, I will (1) analyze the seemingly trivial—yet crucial—value of proper eye contact etiquette in contemporary Korean culture, and (2) establish the differences in Korean and Western interpretations of non-verbal expressions.

As briefly discussed earlier in the semester, a major rule in Korea is to avoid making direct eye contact with a superior; gazing at their eyes is extremely impolite. Dr. CedarBough T. Saeji explained that one should look at the face in general instead of the actual eyes. Though not academic sources per se, Korean culture guides corroborate Dr. Saeji's lesson by stating that one should typically avoid meeting eyes (eDiplomat 2016). Furthermore, eye contact—or the lack of—in Stranger validates the lecture points regarding non-verbal communication in contemporary Korean culture.

Fig. 1 - From Episode Two, Seo Dong-jae confronts Si-mok.

Si-mok is clearly looking at the nose of a very angry Dong-jae, his superior in this context. Meeting eyes would have escalated the situation.

Fig. 2 - Dong-jae is no longer Si-mok's superior, but an equal.

By Episode Eleven, Dong-jae and Si-mok are equals in a symbiotic relationship (they rely on each other). Therefore, Si-mok is permitted to make eye contact.

Fig. 3

Same occurrence when Chief Prosecutor Lee bribes Si-mok for his silence in the Park Mu-seong case.

Fig. 4 - Si-mok glares at Chief Prosecutor Lee

Prior to this stare-off, Si-mok blackmails Chief Lee with information that would get him imprisoned. As a result, Si-mok's gaze is a deliberate act to look more intimidating.

From analyzing these examples, we know Si-mok senses when it is appropriate to match eyes. This sixth sense is non-existent in Western cultures, and it can trouble foreigners in Korea.

Korea is unique because it is one of few remaining countries that stick to primal instincts. Again, eye contact in the animal world is implied as a challenge or threat. A study by Akechi et al. (2013) determines that Westerners appreciate the opposite mentality, since they think highly of someone who maintains strong eye contact; they are perceived as more friendly, trustworthy, professional, and intelligent than someone who avoids eye contact. Moreover, through experiments and data analysis, the study proves that cultures influence the way individuals process others' faces. For instance, East Asians tend to identify expressions of disgust to be gestures of anger (2). This indicates that facial expressions and emotions may not be universal after all.

This discussion established that knowing when to make eye contact is an essential social skill for anyone in Korea, and that Western and Korean ideas pertaining to non-verbal communication are entirely different. Knowing this, we can predict that a gathering of Westerners and Koreans will not proceed nicely; the Koreans may think the Westerners are being rude and aggressive, while the Westerners may think that Koreans are socially inept and uninterested.

Word Count: 491

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QUESTIONS

1. In your opinion and in general, is avoiding eye contact (looking at the ground, wall, etc.) while being spoken to an indication of bad manners?

2. How/what were you taught regarding eye contact? Are you (un)comfortable with maintaining eye contact? How come?

3. Knowing that etiquette in Korea is serious business, is there anything that you do right now which would be considered bad etiquette in Korea?

4. Do you think Western countries should adopt any Korean etiquettes? Anything Korea should adopt?

5. Do you have a problem with any of the etiquettes?

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Bibliography

Akechi, Hironori, Atsushi Senju, Helen Uibo, Yukiko Kikuchi, Toshikazu Hasegawa, and Jari K. Hietanen. “Attention to Eye Contact in the West and East: Autonomic Responses and Evaluative Ratings.” PLoS ONE 8, no. 3 (2013): 1-10

eDiplomat. “Cultural Etiquette in South Korea.” www.ediplomat.com, 2016.

http://www.ediplomat.com/np/cultural_etiquette/ce_kr.htm (accessed October 30, 2018)